I try to do the right thing and I only screw things up more. Go figure. Can I do nothing right? Am I doomed to forever hurting the ones I care about? Things feel pointless.

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/45 3a3e397826eb670df3805f903c2a7c

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/f9 009c29d417ffc41e93fcbba6d3b266

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/7f bf1c8ea91c3e0f92f47ee26a453d3a

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/9e 6c25117fa64d32dc882b2c7c2954d1

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/a3 5174fde65ccd82e672746cd7a7e9e9

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/02 68a58f70fc89aba04718917b3a8026

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/63 182075994f7f6df6992a5f98a320f9

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/8c 0c371fb5f7f8f66d9f80069d2a7eb2

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/90 4ec58619730d08f7a30f962fedd42c

The first.

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Sing to me
Sing to me
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go

There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well

Bye bye
Bye bye
Bye

This song has been playing through my head for hours now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IiLS1J tnRY

Det pissar bara mig så illa. Jag tar sig tid att atully hälla mitt hjärta för någon och de inte ens ge ett skit de är så självcentrerade rövhål att allt de bryr sig om är det egna livet och sin egen lilla problem. Jag är så jävla trött på detta skit! Jag jävla sagt jävla allt, och vad gör du "inte en sak du själv centrerad piace av skit. Jag kan inte tro jag tänkte så där ...

For the record, this is probably just a mindless rant I'll think better of later and possibly delete or edit. So what the fuck ever. I'm super pissed.

Flames. Fire. Embers. Ash.
So beautiful. So dangerous.
I'm beyond the point of caring.
I reach out for them.
The lighter, The candle.
Burn my flesh. Feel something.
Clear my mind until the flame is gone.
Turn to look, mind in a haze.
Reach for the knife,
Avoiding the gaze.
The knife, pressed to flesh.
I drag it across, seeing red.
I stare at it, the pain clearing the haze.
I don't know anymore.
Anyone who could care doesn't.
They simply pass it off as unreasonable.
Those here don't give a fuck.
Those who do aren't here.
So I cut away. Thinking clearly.
Until the pain stops.
Burning sensation.
That's what it is.
Lighter always handy.
Knife in pocket.
Come at me bitches.
I'll fuck you all up.

It's coming so near. The end I mean. I honestly fear for my life, or at least my health. I know great harm will be done if I don't work this out, but I can't seem to make it right. I'm doing all I can, but It's just worsening the anger. I will be hurt very seriously if I do not fix this, however the hell I'm supposed to. I suppose I'lll end up in the hospital, like it's said I will.... The end of my life as it is... Turned into a blathering fool who's afraid to speak... My life as it is will be gone. And I'll almost die. I guess that's what I get for trying to help everyone. If I see no one before that day... Forgive me for wrongs I have done... If I disappear for a while, know this is why....

Alone at last, we can sit and fight.
And I've lost all faith in this blurring light,
But stay right here we can change our plight.
We're storming through this despite what's right.

One final fight, for this tonight.
Woah...
With knives and pens we made our plight.

Lay your heart down the ends in sight.
Conscience begs for you to do what's right.
Everyday it's still the same dull knife,
Stab it through and justify your pride.

One final fight, for this tonight.
Woah...
With knives and pens we made our plight.
Woah...
And I can't go on without your love, you lost, you never held on.
We tried out best... Turn out the light,
Turn out the light.

One final fight, for this tonight.
Woah...
With knives and pens we made our plight.
Woah...
And I can't go on without your love, you lost, you never held on.
We tried out best... Turn out the light,
Turn out the light.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEb3GQq dHD4

Ok. So on the morning of the 5th (this past tuesday) I woke up with my pocket knife lying open beside my pillow, and a cut on my knee. The knife had been in my purse, on the other side of the room the night before when I went to bed.

I have one vague dream I remember from that night. Frank the Rabbit had been standing accross the room from me, holding my purse in the air, and I could see the knife inside the purse.

Total WHAAT THE FUCKING HELL factor reached.

Very happy at the moment. The picture is finally done! And Noah finally sent ti to me so I can laugh at it and be happy because it is awesome.