The day begins.
I wake up refreshed and happy.
Walk to the kitchen, grab food.
Talk to my mom, and the day goes to shit.
All the careful planning.
The saving gas and money to be able to go.
The risking the fucked up car to go.
All worthless shit in light of the situation.
Get called in to work a late shift on friday.
For a job I don't even technically have anymore.
What the fuck is this shit?
I need to destroy.
Shatter.
Burn.
Break.
Any and all forms of destruction.
Maybe then I'll feel slightly better.
And not be in a completely bitchy mood at work.
Fuck this bull shit.
I'm going back to bed.

It's like, when the loop starts theres no end.
Then again, after too long, something else gets put in the loop.
And then I'm looping on that.
It can go from depression.
To happiness.
To anger.
To confusion.
To hyperness.
And so on and so forth.
Never really ends.
But whatever.
I miss Her.
Alot.
My Gypsy Love..
And at the same time, him too.
Not that he cares that I do.

I need to go do something other than sit around at home or work.
I'm sick of it.
I need excitement!
I need adrenaline!
I NEED MAH GYPSY DAMNIT!!!!!!
And maybe a hug. And some vodka.
And to go hang out with what's his name again. He's awesome.
Anywho,TALKTOMEALLYOUFOOLSWHODONTTALKT OMEATALL!!!!!!!!!!

I"MHYPER!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, Fish Filter.

And Roadhouse.

Can you hear my breaking heart?
Can you see the pain on my face?
Can you feel the tension in the air?

Do you even care that I hurt?
Do you care that I'm breaking?
Do you care that I love you?

If only you would love me.
If only you would tell me.
If only you could hear me.

My breaking heart means nothing.
My pained expressions are pointless.
The tension passes by you.

Just once, I want to know.
Just once, I want to hear.
Just once, I don't want to break...

New colors! My hair is now blue and orange. It looks pretty awesome. I'll have a pic up soon.

http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/2a e796fdf6f994df6553f4f7e1d2e013
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/25 8858b32e94d12cbc46696acba439aa
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/9b 752a63f3fceb139e313205a0c67335
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/88 d34a3b40c7ac7b25a8f5c3c09f1648

And the dream!
I know who it was, but they shall not be named.
We were laying on a beach at sunrise. Our bodies Intertwined as we made love. They kissed and bit my neck and ear as they whispered "i love you"
It was a good dream

Completely chopped my hair off. It's alot shorter than I've had it in a long time. I'm not sure if I like it or not. But as soon as I get back onto my facebook (It's been hacked) I'll post some pics of it.

Everything has been quiet lately. I suppose that's a good thing..
In the quiet though, I've had a very odd dream. It's the second one of this kind I've had, so I've no idea what to think.
I was in the driver's seat of a really expensive convertible. (Like legit, a Ferrari or something)
Nice ass car. Had the top down, it was sunny outside and everything.
Then it went to a third person view of myself, and I was sitting in the damn car, smoking a cigarette.
I woke up and was thinking "What the fuck????"
I don't smoke. I cannot stand the smell of it, and I personally think it looks nasty.
So why the fuck am I smoking in my dreams??? I don't even know anymore....
No more meds, I know that for sure -.-'

And long pauses. That is all.

http://vocaroo.com/?media=v1VWcvKKM789 IbQIn

So, overthinking can be a total bitch. I need to stop it. I'm thinking too deeply on things that don't matter much, and not deeply enough on things that are important. Why does my mind get overtaken in these dreams I've had? I don't understand some of them. Some follow the same basic premise, but someof them make no sense whatsoever. Some of them have caused me an insane amount of fears, some have caused me an insane amount of tears.. I don't know what to think anymore. Do I follow my dreams, as unrealistic as they seem? Or do I settle into something I'll probably hate? Do I start a family? Or say fuck it because of todays worls? I don't even know anymore. I know a few things that I want, but none of them are really looking like they're going to pan out. A few I know wont at all. Travel? College? Stay at home? Fall in love? Chase the moon? Try to catch a wave or a breeze? I don't even know what's realistic anymore. I just don't know what to do..

My thought process is to the point where I'm sick of always being left out, and stuck at home, and generally non interesting person. I don't want to be like that anymore. So Im going to go have fun, regardless of wh!t anyone thinks. I've been the sheltered good kid for far too long.